The Birth of
Shadow Inspiration

Shadow's Story & How Shadow Inspiration can help you

Throughout middle school I was the biggest one out of all my friends, teased and I never felt like I fit in. With graduation creeping around the corner, I was thrilled to finally be able to graduate middle school and move onto high school where I thought things would get better (but we'll get back to that)...It was now time to prepare for graduation. So, mom bought my 8th grade graduation dress and, when I tried it on the dress wouldn't fit! It was the biggest size they had and I felt horrible because my mom told me I was going to have to get a new dress that was bigger size! But I loved that dress! So, I had to make a decision. It was either change the dress or change myself. From that point on I decided to take control of my body and make the change. Day in and day out I was working out daily, eating healthy and documenting my progress. I wasn't going to let anyone steer me away from my goal and when someone would tell me I couldn't do it or that I'd give up, I pushed harder.

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By high school, I thought I had everything under control. Now that I was slimmer and improving myself day by day, I thought things couldn't get any better than that (or worse). A couple months into my freshman year of high school I was soon shipped into the hospital to discover that a brain tumor issue that, I thought I was done dealing with at the age of 6 reappeared and, I began to spiral into a deep, dark, depressive and anxiety filled state. I was panicking more days than usual and I felt like I had no one to turn to who would understand me. So, for a while I dealt with all the pain and mental fog internally. Whenever someone would ask me if I was okay I'd say, "Yes, and I couldn't be better," by then I'd just learned to fake my happiness and it soon became kind of a habit. Sad but true, and it got me through my days so, that's all I was worried about... As time went on I dealt with these constant thoughts of anguish on top of school work, extra curricular activities, working outside of school and dealing with different people and relationships day by day. The annoyance and aggravation just began to pile on more and more, and it seemed like things were just getting worst. And what do you know, they did! By my sophomore year of high school my mom approached me in excitement with great news. She informed me that we were moving to a new town. Yay! I was finally being taken away from the depressing environment that I grew up in. Which, was filled with violence, drugs, and bad influences but, that's a story for another day. I was excited to be moving because I thought I could finally get a fresh new start at life and start all over with friends, school and relationships. But, that feeling didn't last too long once I moved. Moving to this new location actually caused more problems! I failed my first class ever in my life, had a hard time making and keeping friends and my mind just continued to play it's foul tricks on me as the days went on. Every day I began to get more and more sad, lonely and I didn't want to live anymore. My days were long and stressful and some filled with horrendous panic attacks. I went to see a therapist and my neurologist because I started suffering from suicidal thoughts and self-harmed at times. Everything just continued to go down hill. My friends wouldn't listen to me and they definitely didn't understand why I didn't want to live anymore. I had the best life any child could ever have. I was financially stable, had nice clothes and a supporting family who loved me. But, this just didn't seem to cut it for me for some odd reason. I just felt off and I didn't know why. I became very irritable and more angry every day. Until, I remembered, there were many ways I use to use to cope with my stress, sadness and anxiety that helped me get through my days before I moved. I use to eat so healthy, working out made me feel so good, writing in my journals helped me clear my mind and going for walks helped me find my inner peace. So, why couldn't those things work just one more time? I had become so introverted and closed off to the world. I felt like I was constantly living in the shadows of people around me and I just wanted to break free for once and for all. I wanted to come out of the dark, depressing place that I was in. I wanted something new. No one else could help me so, I learned to help myself. There was still the slightest bit of hope left in me and I was tired of being drained, mentally, physically and spiritually. I just wanted to feel better. So, I kicked myself into gear but this time, I didn't give up!

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Thus, grew my love for holistic living where I learned to use natures natural remedies, fitness and mindfulness activities to improve myself mentally, physically and even spiritually.

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While it wasn't easy and just like many other people, I still battled with the struggles of life, I've learned to turn my setbacks into steps forward and turn my story into a testimony.

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My weight lost story and high school trauma has propelled me to want to help teens and young adults just like myself manifest that healthier and holistic well-being.